~~ CANADA COURT WATCH ~~

[Locknesty]

Hello. My name is Mel, and I am a broken hearted mother. This is my story. Hopefully others can learn from the events that have occurred; and unlike myself, find the strength, calculated wit and determination needed to overcome.
At a young age, CAS was involved with my life. They apprehended my brother and I, and placed us in care with a distant family member for some time. It may not surprise you then, that CAS was to reappear in my life later, at a older age.
The second time I encountered CAS was 2 years after I had my son. I had recently got into an argument with a close friend, and out of vindictiveness she called CAS to make an anonymous (unjustiified, unvalid) complaint against me. A worker was sent unannounced to my front door. We talked inside, the whole time feeling like I was under a microscope and not understanding why. Needless to say, the complaint went no where and a letter was sent closing CAS involvement 2 weeks later.
My third encounter with CAS has scared me for life. When I was 23, I was sexually assaulted. I was pregnant with my fiancees child when it happened. I lost the baby from the stress and from my assailants beating. I became very depressed and sought conselling to deal with the rape and to overcome the depression. With help, It didnt take me very long to get over what had happened. I overcame that battle within myself, because I love my son (who was 3 at the time). My love for him pulled me through my hate for what had happened to me.
I still to this day have "triggers" that remind me of the rape. But I know how to deal with those and avoid them. However, one night when I was 24, I had the worst triggered flashback, I actually blackouted. My fiancee had startled me in bed and I jumped up and elbowed him crying . Worried about me, he called the police to come and mediate the situation. They came to our home, and arrested me. Seeing a red mark on my fiancess shoulder (where I elbowed him) they arrested me for assault. My fiancee pleaded with them and trying to explain the situation, while they handcuffed me and put me in the squad car. Later on, I learnt the domestic laws had recently been changed that if there is any "violence" of any sort an arrest is immediately made. Disheveled, confused and feeling a bit betrayed, I was taken to a holding cell and ran thru the processes. I have never been involved with the police before this and was feeling a bit scared. A CAS worker was called to come and speak to me before my bail hearing. They decided to take my son into care because I was 'mentally unfit' to take care of him. No other options were even presented to me. The next years following have been constant battle for me and my family.
I spent all my money getting the ridiculous criminal case closed against me (Currently I am in debt up to me ears, but all charges were dropped). At the same time, juggling my case against CAS and trying to get my son back, Working to pay for legal bills and living, AND Vistitation on CAS time. On top of that, trying to see as many doctors as possible to clear my name ( = more debt for me! yay! )
I have seen 11 different psychologists, and all of them have reported me to be suffering from situational depression. They have all assessed my mental health to be healthy other than situational stresses that have occured in my lifetime. When I presented this information to CAS, I was requested to use a psychologist appointed by them.
(Funny, the psychologists office is directly across the street from CAS)

I have had CAS tell me they were there to help, and only take our converstations and twist/edit them in such a way to be pleasing to their case. I have had unannounced CAS workers walk into my home without knocking on several occasions. For a whole year I was allowed to see my son at a visitation centre. A room 10 by 10. Usually with another family present and workers scribbling down every movement.
After a year of this, I was told that the decision to put my son in wardship was at the end of its time period. Many court dates had come and past, most being adjourned and pushed off. My case was never heard. Just a paper presented to me by a worker, stating that the time period for my son being in foster care was up and I had to sign for him to be placed in wardship of the CAS. I had continously called my lawyer for 3 months prior to this trying to get advice, with no returned calls, no answers.
I had signed that paper giving wardship. I signed it not knowing what it fully was, or having it overly explained to me. I had signed it cause I had cracked. My strength was gone, I felt alone and utterly trapped by a system that is so utterly corrupt and uncompassionate. And now that I have ran from this all, I am without my motherhood, my identity, my dignity, my intergrity. My everything.

The point to my story, and why I feel it necessary to tell, is that you must never lose your strength. The CAS will WILL kick you when your down. They are NOT there to help you. They are a pack of unleashed dogs waiting to prey on the weak and their weaknesses.

If you find yourself feeling lost, alone and trapped, know that there is help. Write everything down, keep yourself 'credible' . Do not feel intimidated. Their is hope. You have rights.

[fixchildrensaid]

I am very sorry to hear about what you have gone through.

And I agree wholeheartedly with your summation of what CAS stands for. While there are some good people working there, they are usually unable or unwilling to stand up to the biased, corrupt machine that IS CAS.

Brad

[fixchildrensaid]

I would also like to add that many children also have very good reason to strongly dislike CAS - and they express that very thing consistently.

My son, when he was 12 and 13 years of age, has, on at least those two occasions, according to case notes that I have received, told his CAS worker "CAS has ruined my life".

Not surprisingly, but sadly, my son's concerns were completely ignored by the workers, as well as by the wokers who subsequently replaced them.

Brad

[visitzkidz]

I totally agree. And while some workers have the chidren at heart,many just listen to vindictive friends and neighbours.

This is why Canada Court watch is here,and hopefully we will make some changes in "the system". I do not understand toally why some workers are hell bent on scavenging for chidlren. The abused are ignored, and they male the news. Unjustified interaction with the CAS do not.

Believe you me, arguing with a spouse, even if the kids overhear it, is NOT a reason to bring the CAS into it.

The best option, of you really cannot solve the issues with a spouse, is to move out with the children, get a lawyer, and go for immmediate custody, and take good evidence with you, such as tape recordings and any pictures you have of injuries you have sustained.

Yes, my computer is back online! But the guy who fixed it is my ex, and he is a oain in the bum.



Viz

[GrannyK]

There are a lot of fathers out there that don't pay financial support, however they support their children in other ways, such as spending quality time with them, supporting them emotionally, helping with homework, etc.
I'm familiar with someone who cannot financially support his child, but he darn well supports his child in many other ways. I wouldn't not call him a dead beat dad just because he doesn't pay financial support.
Again, not sticking up for Mr F----- as I don't know what he does with his kids, but I am sticking up for others whom are labelled the term 'dead beat dads' when in fact they aren't.

[visitzkidz]

Sorry I'm so late, but lightning hit my modem eight weeks ago and killed my computer. My ex fixed it again.

The thing is, our ODD son is out after his curfew all the time, and Dad doesnt go looking for him. A policeman told him to go out and look for him! While he's doing better academically in Grade 9, perhaps he needs to go to a safer environment so he can't just go anywhere he pleases when he wants to. Well then, it should be a peoper healthcare long-term place with locked doors, because I am afraid he is going to be in big trouble very soon.

I wouln't call the police if I was accidentally hurt by a man. Intentionallly, yes. Once you tell anyone you were involved as a kid with the CAS, some people might use that to start something stupid. I'm so sorry that happened to you. (BTW, law says CAS have to be called when children are in the home and there are ANY complaints given to the police.)

Be strong and remember that seeing the kids keeps them in their but unfortunately Crown Wardship kicks in after 2 years' foster care, and I had a heck of a time preventing that with my two youngest.

Hang in there!

Many kids have a habit of seeking out their parents once they're around 16 or 18. With some, they believe Mom or Dad don't want them, but they're easily found sometimes and can be having a talk with you to straighten things out.

Take care of yourself. Put on some great music and belt it out! It helps me.

Viz